Are We a Match?

I'm not sure where

to rank your program.

Your faculty were nice enough

though I felt I had wandered

into someone else's party.

The motel was fine and my cab driver

was the friendliest person. On my entire trip.

The residents seemed stressed but

assured me it was just a busy week,

unusually so.

Your secretary kept getting my name wrong,

but you gave me the impression that

I was a great candidate

(I bet you say that to all the boys …)

I don't know. I'm a little uneasy …

Everyone says, “listen to your gut.”

I don't have butterflies of excitement

but it's not like I've got C. diff either.

More like “a little dyspepsia,”

as Grandma would say.

Grandma would also tell me to

drink some green tea, lie down

with a heating pad on my stomach,

and drop your program

a notch or 2.